To the prospective new tenants

rubbish left after a music festival

We would like to profusely apologise for the state in which we left the property after our extended rental. We had all over-indulged and were not really behaving ourselves. Consequently we did, I suspect, damage several items of which we should have taken more care.

In the gardens we unthinkingly cut some down some of the larger plants in order to extend the lawns which, with hindsight, we should have left alone. Also we did allow some substances to fall into the the ponds. We now realise it was home to quite a variety of species that are going to be difficult, if not impossible, to replace.

We understand that the property was not designed for the seven billion people who eventually turned up to our party, but we found it difficult, if not impossible, to say no to new arrivals. On the positive side, we have made a number of ‘improvements’, and hope that you will find some use for them. We would advise you to avoid any that glow. As for the catering we have no excuses. We have to say it was most enjoyable feast, but we’re sorry about the mess that we didn’t have time to clear up.

We do hope you can return the establishment to it’s former glory, but we now find ourselves unable to offer any assistance in restoration as we have, regrettably, moved on.

Yours very sincerely, A Boomer

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