Pets and their owners

picture of a cat

I have had a number of pets during my life but never really been sure why I wanted to share my house or garden with what is basically a wild animal.

I’ve never been convinced that anyone ‘owns’ a pet and I’ve never seen a caged bird that looks happy. Some pets, I’m sure, don’t even realise they have a keeper and some can’t wait to escape.

So I wondered what might be beneath the desire to keep these living creatures in our lives – but, as often, not too seriously.

Budgerigars – possibly kept by those who secretly want to be prison wardens.

Hamsters – for people who want to teach children about death.

Bees – ironically, are they often kept by people who dislike crowds?

Chickens – flashy creatures who all taste the same under the feathers.

Cats – ideal for those who want to house a god they can cuddle.

Dogs – ideal for anyone who wants to be seen as a god.

Fish – the perfect pet for anyone who lack empathy.

Tortoises – a great pet if you can’t sustain interest all year round.

Horses – for people who can afford the pet equivalent of an all terrain vehicle.

Rabbits – kept by people who enjoy enforced celibacy.

Snakes – an ideal pet for those who struggle to form friendships.

Reptiles – suitable for anyone who likes birds but hates feathers.

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